Dead End Print

In Andre Agassi’s upcoming book, the tennis star drops one hell of a bombshell.  He reveals that he lied to tennis authorities about a failed drug test in 1997, claiming now, that he used crystal meth.  He goes on to describe the rush that he got from crystal meth, elaborating about how he would go and completely clean his house, right down to the ever-daunting task of making the beds.  Wow.  From that description, crystal meth just sounds like the professional maid’s performance-enhancing drug.  Now, I’m no idiot; I know crystal meth makes your teeth fall out and shit..  I just can’t understand why people do drugs that make them want to clean stuff.  It boggles my mind.  The withdrawal symptoms must be a bitch, because I have never, ever in my life, woken up one day and said, “FUCK YEAH, LETS CLEAN SOME SHIT!!!!”, so why in hell would someone do this drug?

Seriously, Andre?  Crystal meth, man?  Why?  You were such a good boy!  I would have expected this out of McEnroe, but not you!!  You know the only thing that brings me comfort out of this situation?  It’s tennis, so nobody cares.

Tags: 1997, Andre Agassi, ATP, crystal meth, drug test