The Abominable Lady Gaga

I have reached a point where I’ve almost snapped.  I’ve had it.  I can’t take any more of this “Gaga Law” shit.  This is a Facebook fan page for Lady Gaga (that singer who may or may not have a dick), or rather her latest “song”.  The first time I saw this page, I dismissed it as the latest thing all the kids are into these days.  the second time I saw it, I actually clicked the link to see what the hell it was.  I have to admit, since the title was written like a mathematical equation, I thought it might actually be something cool or interesting.  But I was fucking wrong, wasn’t I?  I saw this abomination to internet staring me in the eye.  I stared at the page, unable to remove my gaze from it.  It was only after about an hour of staring at my screen (without blinking) I got the feeling that I should go smoke a cigarette.  It’s probably for the best, because the ferocity of my gaze at this monument to human excrement might have caused my screen to either melt or explode if I had continued.

Just like that, it was gone.  I didn’t see it for nearly a month.  In retrospect, that was one of the most peaceful months of my life.  But, it would not last.  I started getting bombarded with requests to become a fan of this farce.  I stopped counting after the first two dozen.  I would like to think my friends would know me better than to suggest that to me, but apparently not.  This has led me to one conclusion: Lady Gaga is some kind of goat-demon, and must be stopped.

I had the unfortunate experience of actually hearing the song this refers to recently.  Good God, man.  That is worse than the song about all the girls standing in the line for the bathroom.  I can’t fault it for not making sense, because it is not words as I know them.  It is inane blather.  I don’t think that Lady Gaga is talented enough to come up with original gibberish, so I’m pretty sure she stole it from someone in a mental hospital, which I imagine she frequents.  If not of her own volition, then because it’s court-ordered.  If it is original, then I must congratulate all the fans of this song.  You have given up hope for anything meaningful in your lives, and no longer want to actually think about anything at all.  You want a song that sounds like it was written by a cheerleader strung out on heroin.  This is the saddest day in pop culture’s entire miserable existence.

Where the hell did she come from, and how the fuck do we send her back there?  Is is like some sort of demon-exorcism?  How did we get rid of Madonna?  Can we do that again?  Honestly, what the fuck did the rest of us do to deserve this?  This is a plague upon the land.  Here are some factoids that you should consider if you think I’m overreacting:

1.  When you play Lady Gaga’s music backwards, you can hear the first chapter of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard.  If that weren’t scary enough, here’s another.

2.  Every time you play a Lady Gaga song, a hungry alligator is fed.  With a live puppy.  So, if you like Lady Gaga’s music, you hate puppies.  What kind of sick bastard hates puppies?

So, before you chuck another helpless puppy into the gaping mouth of a starving alligator, think about what you’re doing, and remember the REAL Gaga Law:gaga law

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

96 responses to “The Abominable Lady Gaga”

  1. Gambling

    2nd Apr, 10

    News Article…

    Only the best sites are mentioned in this news story [...]…

  2. gold rings

    10th Apr, 10

    Great writing style, reading this blog via RSS as well. thanks.

  3. MarkSpizer

    3rd May, 10

    great post as usual!

  4. RUBEN

    5th Sep, 10


    CheapTabletsOnline.Com. Canadian Health&Care.Best quality drugs.Special Internet Prices.No prescription online pharmacy. No prescription pills. Buy pills online

    Buy:Zithromax.Levitra.Viagra Professional.Cialis Professional.Soma.Propecia.Cialis Super Active+.Viagra.VPXL.Cialis Soft Tabs.Tramadol.Cialis.Viagra Soft Tabs.Viagra Super Active+.Super Active ED Pack.Viagra Super Force.Maxaman….

  5. LOUIS

    6th Sep, 10


    CheapTabletsOnline.Com. Canadian Health&Care.No prescription online pharmacy.Best quality drugs.Special Internet Prices. Low price drugs. Buy drugs online

    Buy:Arimidex.Prevacid.Synthroid.Prednisolone.Petcam (Metacam) Oral Suspension.Nexium.Zovirax.Zyban.Retin-A.Human Growth Hormone.Mega Hoodia.Lumigan.Valtrex.Accutane.100% Pure Okinawan Coral Calcium.Actos….

  6. ARTURO

    20th Dec, 10

  7. LONNIE

    20th Dec, 10

    abilify side effects in children

    Buydrugs without prescription…

  8. TODD

    21st Dec, 10

    buy pure acai berry

    Buyno prescription…

  9. TIMOTHY

    22nd Dec, 10

  10. CLYDE

    23rd Dec, 10

    Cialis UK

    Buygeneric meds…

  11. LARRY

    31st Dec, 10

    ..

    Buygeneric drugs…

  12. GREGORY

    31st Dec, 10

  13. ENRIQUE

    31st Dec, 10

  14. FERNANDO

    1st Jan, 11

  15. ALBERTO

    1st Jan, 11

  16. SERGIO

    1st Jan, 11

  17. RICK

    1st Jan, 11

  18. RAYMOND

    1st Jan, 11

  19. RICK

    2nd Jan, 11

  20. ROBERT

    4th Jan, 11

  21. JORDAN

    5th Jan, 11

  22. GUY

    5th Jan, 11

  23. JON

    5th Jan, 11

  24. RON

    6th Jan, 11

  25. DOUGLAS

    17th Jan, 11

  26. HUBERT

    17th Jan, 11

  27. JESSE

    21st Jan, 11

  28. TRACY

    22nd Jan, 11

  29. DOUGLAS

    3rd Feb, 11

    Zyrtec

    Buygeneric drugs…

  30. MATTHEW

    4th Feb, 11

  31. CLINTON

    5th Feb, 11

    Zocor

    Buygeneric meds…

  32. KEITH

    6th Feb, 11

    Voltaren

    Buygeneric drugs…

  33. TROY

    6th Feb, 11

    Loratadine

    Buyno prescription…

  34. SAM

    6th Feb, 11

    Yaz

    Buywithout prescription…

  35. REGINALD

    6th Feb, 11

    dog zyrtec

    Buygeneric drugs…

  36. EDWARD

    7th Feb, 11

    Yaz

    Buywithout prescription…

  37. STUART

    7th Feb, 11

    Vytorin

    Buynow…

  38. ALFONSO

    2nd Mar, 11

    Zyvox

    Buydrugs without prescription…

  39. ISAAC

    3rd Mar, 11

    lioresal online

    Buygeneric drugs…

  40. TERRANCE

    9th Mar, 11

    howard county purim carnival 2010

    Buyno prescription…

  41. AUSTIN

    9th Mar, 11

    is overdosing on seroquel painful

    Buydrugs without prescription…

  42. NELSON

    28th Mar, 11

    Buywithout prescription…

  43. TERRANCE

    28th Mar, 11

  44. FREDDIE

    29th Mar, 11

  45. CLAUDE

    29th Mar, 11

  46. GEORGE

    29th Mar, 11

  47. SAM

    30th Mar, 11

  48. ROGER

    30th Mar, 11

  49. LEON

    30th Mar, 11

  50. TYRONE

    30th Mar, 11

  51. EDGAR

    30th Mar, 11

  52. GREGORY

    30th Mar, 11

  53. LLOYD

    30th Mar, 11

  54. DOUGLAS

    31st Mar, 11

  55. ALAN

    31st Mar, 11

  56. DARREN

    31st Mar, 11

  57. DANNY

    31st Mar, 11

  58. JOSHUA

    31st Mar, 11

  59. SEAN

    31st Mar, 11

  60. OLIVER

    1st Apr, 11

  61. JAIME

    1st Apr, 11

  62. SHAUN

    1st Apr, 11

  63. DUSTIN

    1st Apr, 11

  64. SHAUN

    1st Apr, 11

    Buygeneric meds…

  65. DENNIS

    1st Apr, 11

  66. MANUEL

    2nd Apr, 11

  67. RODNEY

    2nd Apr, 11

    Buygeneric drugs…

  68. DENNIS

    2nd Apr, 11

  69. JORDAN

    3rd Apr, 11

    .

    Buywithout prescription…

  70. KURT

    3rd Apr, 11

  71. NICK

    3rd Apr, 11

  72. WAYNE

    3rd Apr, 11

  73. JIMMIE

    3rd Apr, 11

    .

    Buyit now…

  74. CLIFTON

    4th Apr, 11

    ..

    Buyit now…

  75. MARK

    4th Apr, 11

  76. JULIAN

    4th Apr, 11

  77. KIRK

    4th Apr, 11

  78. MARCUS

    4th Apr, 11

  79. DON

    4th Apr, 11

  80. WARREN

    4th Apr, 11

  81. LEE

    4th Apr, 11

  82. SHAUN

    4th Apr, 11

  83. ADRIAN

    4th Apr, 11

  84. HARRY

    5th Apr, 11

    .

    Buygeneric drugs…

  85. CASEY

    5th Apr, 11

  86. JACKIE

    5th Apr, 11

  87. EDWIN

    5th Apr, 11

  88. REX

    5th Apr, 11

  89. WESLEY

    5th Apr, 11

  90. NORMAN

    5th Apr, 11

  91. JORDAN

    5th Apr, 11

  92. JEROME

    6th Apr, 11

  93. EDDIE

    6th Apr, 11

  94. ROSS

    6th Apr, 11

  95. GERALD

    6th Apr, 11

  96. ADRIAN

    7th Apr, 11

Leave a reply

(Required)
(Required, but never shared)