Dead End Print

This is just precious.  This story is one of those few gems that I have come across where, once I’ve read about it, I want to take it and lock it away in a giant vault, or bury it away in the bottom of a mine shaft so I can keep it safe forever.  Here’s what happened.  Actor Rip Torn, of Men In Black and Dodgeball, was arrested this weekend after being found in a bank, highly intoxicated, and in possession of a loaded revolver.  Wow, that’s some wild fucking night.  Now, I’m no stranger to alcohol; in fact, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve gotten drunk and done something off-the-fuck-wall, I’d be pretty damn rich right now.  That being said, I never, ever, in my life, ever got the idea to strap on some fucking firepower and go manage my bank account.  That is the stage of drunk you reach just before you have to grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth.  So, in conclusion, I say kudos to Rip Torn.  You have set the standard for drunken idiocy, and you should probably get a goddamn medal or something.  I don’t want you to feel bad about wandering into a bank with a loaded gun, even though you probably should.  Well, feel bad, but you should at least get a high five out of this fiasco.