Apparently, the Chinese who bought the Hummer brand from GM are trying to make it more environment-friendly. Wow. Good luck with that. Talk about unrealistic goals. Those big-ass gas guzzlers are as close to becoming environmentally friendly as I am to becoming a goat-pigeon. For those of you who don’t know, a goat-pigeon is the ridiculous offspring of a goat mating with a pigeon. It is a purely theoretical concept. There are no such things as goat-pigeons. Yet.
Where was I? Oh yeah, a “green” Hummer. That is a ridiculous proposal. Simply ridiculous. The closest thing that Hummer is ever going to get to being environmentally friendly is when you get your pecker sucked in the backseat while going on a so-called camping trip. Putting effort into making this beast ecologically safer is like trying to obtain oral sex from someone with their lips sewn shut. It’s probably not going to happen. That being said, I will pursue a much more likely, not to mention more noble, goal of obtaining oral sex from a strange woman at a bar. Later, dudes.
