Dear Natalie Portman,
I recently read that you are starring in and producing a movie title, “Pride & Prejudice & Zombies”. I’m not a fan of love stories, but if you throw zombies into the mix, I am all about that shit. This might be the most awesome idea in movie history. I know it’s based on a book, but still, I fucking love the idea of bringing it to my picture-box that brain-washes and sedates me. Mmmm, mindless entertainment. It’s like electronic bacon. Besides the fact that you are insanely hot, this is one of the coolest things to come out of Hollywood in my lifetime. Natalie, I think I love you.
The Reverend
P.S. I’m not stalking you or anything like that…just thought I should clear that up before anyone gets the wrong idea.
