Parents everywhere can be the hip, cool ones by buying their daughters the Barbie doll that comes with tattoo stickers that can be placed anywhere on the doll’s body. That’s right. Your daughters can stamp their own tramps. But don’t freak out; it’s only make-believe. Yeah, and while I’m lying to you, there’s no such thing as AIDS, and I am the greatest athlete this world has ever seen.
No bullshit, Mattel has put out a line of Barbie dolls that include a pair of tattoo stickers that can be placed anywhere on the doll’s body. I saw a clip of Barbie with a tramp stamp. I’m not kidding. Because we have way too many positive role models for girls today. You know, like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, you get the point. Mattel states that they will not pull this high-rolling hooker off the shelves, claiming that it inspires girls to be creative.
Also, the doll comes with two temporary tattoos, for the girls to apply to themselves. I’m not going to knock tattoos; I have one myself. But, I got it when I was 22, I paid for it with my money, and it in no way makes me look like a whore. But damn, when a guy sees a woman at a bar, and there is a tattoo on the lower back, right above the pant-line, we all get the same idea. Whoever gets closest to the center wins. I wonder if, joining the Tramp-Stamp Barbie, we will see Meth-Head Barbie, or Crack-Whore Barbie. How about Bar-Skank Barbie? That one is kind of catchy, because of the alliteration. Maybe we’ll see Porn-Star Barbie, or better yet, Girls-Gone-Wild Barbie! Comes complete with jello shots, pink trucker hat, and Mardi Gras beads! Self Esteem not included….
Well, I don’t really know what to say about this one. I simply can’t find the words. I want to, because I’m sure they’d be hilarious, but I can’t. Figure out the ending for this one on your own; I don’t have the energy to do it for you.
